If you’re not feeling it, you’re not feeling it!
I’m Natalie. I’ve been divorced for over 5 years now. I would definitely say that the grass is greener. If you’re not feeling your marriage, you’re not feeling it, and there’s little that can be done to make you feel it. I believe we’re not supposed to be with just one partner, especially not for years of frustration and hurt.
I want everyone to feel the freedom that I feel now. Most won’t. The chains of society’s ideals are way too strong to be broken. The programming we have received from birth is major.
I have been unprogrammed. It happened during my divorce. I hit rock bottom, which is a common side effect, but instead of breaking, or becoming a victim, I started to thrive. I realised that nobody was going to go through the terrible bit for me. I had to save myself. That moment of realisation changed everything. I had chosen my husband, and that had consequences. It all stemmed from me, so I had to take responsibility and do whatever I needed to take charge.
I hit rock bottom
I was a stressed-out mess. Then my health started suffering. I lost weight, had diarrhoea a lot, my heart would constantly be pounding, anxious at what weird stunt he would pull next. Then I decided that nothing he did was going to make me ill. I was not going to give him that power. So, I grew strong. On my own. There were people along the way that helped, when they saw me helping myself, and they were invaluable. But the majority was done by me.
I wrote the article below just after my divorce had been finalised. I didn’t enter the big fight that the father of my children really wanted. I let him win. I let him keep his business, his money, and have the kids half of the time, which has turned out to be the biggest blessing! I decided that being stressed, angry, and in fight mode, would be detrimental to my health and my longevity. So, I refused to be drawn in. Consequently, I now live on a boat, and am living the most exciting, random, life.
“I’m at the end of Divorce. Eleven years of marriage. Three children aged 10, 7 and 4. Two very different parents.
The decision to change my life just sort of happened after a series of events. It was meant to happen. The fear of change hampered this decision for a bit, and I chose to go back to my security blanket and try to resolve all problems, but, when the realisation dawned on me that I would always be blamed 100%, I went full steam ahead, facing the awful fear, like jumping off a cliff.
I am now through the fear and it is a beautiful place to be. I am not scared of anyone or anything anymore. I like myself. Actually, I now love myself and who I stand for. At this point I have found true happiness. True happiness isn’t found in material possessions, other people or money. It is found within. Sometimes a big event in life enables a journey to be taken and this is one of the side effects that can be achieved.
My journey has been long and sometimes nasty, but every single thing that has taken place along the way has taught me something very valuable. Anything negative that has happened, I’ve seen the positive that has happened too, cancelling the negative out. I have experienced negativity from people who should have been more encouraging of my decision to follow my heart and live my life as I wanted. They should have admired the fact that I was not a sheep, following how society says we should live. I was a lion! I no longer have negative people in my life, this feeling is so good. Nobody can drag me down.
Happiness is contagious
I am meeting more and more like-minded people as time goes by and it feels brilliant. Probably like winning the lottery feels for someone who believes money is of the utmost importance. Every time I connect with somebody on a spiritual level it drives me on even more to continue being true to myself where for years, I had to suppress who I really was. Money has never been my motivation, happiness has.
A woman came up to me in the gym yesterday and said “Natalie, what have you got on your face? It’s glowing!” My answer? “It’s happiness…..I recommend it.” My face was bare of any make-up. This sort of thing is happening a lot. At the school gate, mums come up and tell me how well I look or ask me what I have been doing to look so glowing. It makes me smile because it is only my happiness radiating. I cannot help it. I don’t enhance it or control it. It is just happening. People are obviously attracted to happiness. Imagine if we could all be proper happy!! What a wonderful world we would live in. It is possible.
Paying it forward
I now want to help others find true happiness – to live in the moment, to be thankful for what they have, not what they do not have. To appreciate nature, to cut down on anti-social behaviour. To enjoy living, not just existing.
Life is too short to worry about tomorrow…live every day as if it is your last. I do that now. People need to mind their own business, not gossip and hate others. Be kind.
The law of attraction so works! I’ve found out first-hand. I could write another piece on this alone! I live to help others now. Being kind costs nothing. Holding a door open for someone costs nothing. Giving someone a compliment costs nothing.
If one person reading this can decide to make someone else’s day by giving a compliment or smiling at them, then I have been successful. If everyone reading this does one small, random act of kindness, then I have hopefully started a small change in everyone, that will be paid forward. Giving is what life is about.
I want my writing to inspire others to jump from anything that isn’t serving them. To trust in their power to survive, and actually thrive. If you are in the wrong story, rewrite the ending. You hold the pen.
Have a lovely day!
If you’d like to know more about Natalie’s journey and her general thoughts on life, you can follow her on Instagram @nataliemusaphia
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